Saving Ourselves from Suicide--Before and After by Linda Pacha

Author:Linda Pacha
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Mental health awareness, suicide prevention, and grief and loss
Publisher: Linda Pacha
Published: 2020-05-24T00:00:00+00:00

11

More Grief and the New Family

Emotions of First Year

In chapter 5, I talked about the first days of grief, as we walked around numb and in shock. We were not sleeping or eating much and felt like we were losing our minds. Nothing is as horrible as the first few days, but to be honest, the entire first year was like living through a hurricane. Waves of grief hit us without warning as we got batted around by a full range of emotions. The following are just some of the emotions our family experienced that first year. Each of us experienced different aspects of them in our own way, at different times, and for varying durations—but collectively, we hit them all.

Anger: Anger at Nick for not opening up and telling us he was having thoughts of suicide. Anger at God for letting Nick die. Anger at ourselves for missing warning signs. Anger at the world for continuing to go on when time seemed to stop for us.

Fear: Fear of forgetting some memories of Nick as we age. Fear of the unknown, and specifically of our new lives without Nick. Fear that one of us could get ill or drop dead from a heart attack from the extreme stress we were experiencing. Fear of getting back into the world. Fear the world would forget our son.

Hopelessness: Hopelessness in our future as we wondered if we would ever feel normal, truly happy, or pain-free again.

Regret: Regret for not realizing the extent of Nick’s suffering. Regret from sending him to a college so far from home. Regret for not knowing all the risk factors and warning signs for suicide. Regret for sending him to class from Jamba Juice.

Sorrow: Sorrow in losing our future with Nick, as well as our hopes and dreams for his future. Sorrow that we would never see him in our physical world again—never hug or kiss him—never see him graduate, get his first job, get married, or have kids. Sorrow that Nick felt he was a burden and experienced so much pain. Sorrow for our daughter who lost her big brother and best friend.

Gratitude: Gratitude for the time we all shared. Gratitude for our faith and spirituality that carries us through the grief and helps us heal. Gratitude for our family and friends who were supporting and helping us work through our grief.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.